How to embrace your inner rebel
Is your gentle rebel in there, desperate to get out?
Truly being yourself is an act of rebellion. Not conforming to the shoulds in life and work takes quite a lot of courage and a huge dose of self-belief.
When we think of rebels we think of people going out of their way to be different. Defined as ‘resisting authority, control or convention’ it feels like a strong way of being. But being a rebel can be about not working 9-5, it can be about doing things differently and it can be about living your life outside of the societal norms.
I consider myself a gentle rebel, someone who takes a day off in the week without guilt, naps on a work day and works from bed still in my pyjamas (I’m actually doing that whilst writing this) when I feel like it. It might not seem hugely rebellious but a few years ago I would have felt guilty about any one of those things and definitely not shared these dirty little secrets.
What changed? I gave myself permission to be myself. Now some of this came with age, I hit my 40s and got sick of the worrying about what others thought. But most of it came from coaching, sharing and speaking about these ideas of rebellion. About being around like-minded people who feel the same way, that push you to embrace more of who you are as they share their stories and accept you for yours.
It also came from taking a good hard look at my life, stripping out the stuff I didn’t like and only doing the things that felt aligned.
I’ve had to retrain my brain, to break up with the ways I thought I should do things.
It took a lot of effort, I often found myself slipping back into the old habits because they feel comfortable. In the beginning, it’s easier to go back to them. That need to be at a desk by 9 o’clock, and the feeling slightly uncomfortable if you’re not was hard to shift.
I used to find taking time out of my day to walk, do yoga or read a book, even books for my development, really challenging. If I wasn’t being productive between the hours of 9 to 5, the guilt would be unreal. Like if I didn’t work every hour of the day I would never be successful. It took a lot of reprogramming to stop equating productivity and money to success.
Being a gentle rebel feels like having permission, it opens up my brain to make choices that feel better for me. It gives me the chance to say what could I do in this situation, instead of what should I do.Â
Of course, some people still don’t understand, and see you working in ways they don’t, as laziness or as less successful. But we all have to walk our own path, not everyone wants the complication of doing things differently or is afforded the luxury of it.
Some tips for enhancing your inner gentle rebel…
Self-reflection: Taking time to think about the way your life is now and what you’re not sure about is an important first step.
What’s your rebellion: From the things you’re not sure about what could you do differently?
Challenge assumptions: What would work best for you? Don’t assume the first thing you think of will be the right thing. Try think 'ideal world’ here. Would working 5 am until 1 pm or 12 pm - 7 pm be better for you?
Set boundaries: It’s so easy to work harder and longer if you change your working hours away from the norm, so it’s important to set boundaries. When you step away from what most people do you leave yourself without ‘rules’ to live within, which is great, but also leaves you open to overwork, exhaustion and burnout.
Courage to be authentic: Work out early on what your why is. Why do you want to work/do things differently? Make it a guiding purpose, one that can give you the courage to do the hard things. Being your true, authentic self takes courage so that why is going to be super helpful.
Connect with like-minded souls: Finding others doing things differently helps you to feel less alone, and in my case, helps you to lean into your gentle rebel even more. Find groups and individuals that make you feel ok to be yourself.
Embrace failure: You will fail at things, it’s a fact that when you try to do new things you will get things wrong. But showing up imperfectly is the way to get things done. Fear of failure helps procrastination creep in when we are doing something new, but accepting that it won’t be perfect and that we can iterate means we can do things quicker.
Celebrate: In some respects the most important. Celebrating the small gains and recognising the wins helps to keep you moving forward. We all need a pat on the back sometimes, so give yourself one!
Take what feels right, this is your gentle rebellion. It’s a bit like baking, there are a few necessary ingredients and some that make the cake more unique.
You get to decide how to rebel.
I’m on the cusp of turning 40 and feel we’re on a similar path, Claire! The call to release the opinions of others, the stripping out the stuff that doesn’t serve, and breaking up with the ‘shoulds’! It’s all so relatable 💛